Planning for Joy
Yes, losing 10 pounds might bring you joy when it happens. Giving up red meat and quitting smoking will help improve your health over time. Saving more money will result in meeting financial goals sooner, or with greater confidence, and you know I’m going to encourage this, but it won’t happen overnight.
I cannot object to any of these resolutions. They are all laudable. They also require change, and change is hard. It takes at least three weeks to change a habit, and often longer. By all means, get started on those resolutions (or re-start them), but also plan for greater joy.
In addition to my New Year’s Resolutions, here’s what I’m planning to add more joy to my life:
My dog has a good life. On her worse days, she suffers from the boredom of watching me work. Since I have to work to keep a doghouse over her head, she’s going to have to learn to deal with it. And yet, that doesn’t mean I can’t learn a thing or two from her, too.
Often when I’m downstairs in the office, she is upstairs in her corner perch, watching the neighborhood scene. I’ll hear her pad down the stairs and come around the corner into the office. Every time she does this, I greet her with my happiest dog-voice, and take a break in what I’m doing for a pet and a little play. I say I do this for her, to have good associations with my office so she’ll hang out here. In truth, I find it is good for me, as well. I am terrible at taking breaks, and the dog is a natural.
I could just set a timer and tell myself to take a break. How much more fun it is, though, to unleash the joy of seeing my dog prance around the office with her little paws in the air, her play-bow, and her goofy look, when I take a breath before I start a new project.
2. Organize My Desk
I know this sounds like work. I am a planner by nature, and I like order in my universe. Maybe it’s a coping mechanism, but it also helps me to focus and relax into whatever I’m doing when I’m in a clutter-free zone. My new house is slowly getting organized, but not yet up to my standards of order, and it’s stressing me out. As a business owner, there is no end to things to do for the job. A clear desk is an accomplishment, too. My plan for the New Year at work is to close out each day putting my desk in order, filing papers, and scheduling the next day.
Earlier in the business I sublet office space from a large engineering firm. The sliding glass doors to each office had no locks. For practical purposes, I ended each work day putting all my projects away, under lock and key. Starting the next day was bliss! Taking joy in sitting down and intentionally beginning a new project, rather than staring down a pile of ongoing work, is my goal for 2019. I’ve done it before, and I know I can do it again!
If you’re inclined to try a bit of rearranging to de-clutter your space but need a little nudge, here are a couple of resources. I was a huge fan of Peter Walsh and his Clean Sweep program on HGTV. The program is 10 years old, but his approach is timeless. His philosophy towards organizing your home and office is the same as mine towards personal finance: arrange your environment (or money) to live a richer, fuller life with less stress. And you can sign up for his #31DaysToGetOrganized daily reminders to help you one day at a time. If Marie Kondo’s Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up is more your speed, you can read her book or go straight to her new series on Netflix to learn how to “KonMari” your spaces.
Kondo talks specifically about joy in organizing your things, and Walsh used his master’s degree in educational psychology to help people let go of the associations they have with things that no longer serve them and to refocus on what really mattered. Both focus special attention on items of sentimental value, and the meaning they add to our lives. Here’s to more joy and greater meaning in your spaces (and at my desk) in 2019!
3. Re-invigorate My Hibernation
Even though we are past the Solstice and our days are getting longer, Winter has barely begun and we will have many cold, gloomy days to come. “Hiberation” is from the Latin meaning “to pass the winter” and for many that means hunkering down and doing as little as possible until the warmth and sun call us out into the world again. But therein lies a missed opportunity.
For nine years after my mother’s stroke, I split my weekends into two periods: Saturdays were for life maintenance, running errands, stocking the fridge, doing laundry. Getting the house in order for a new week. Sundays were spent with my mom. Doing her laundry, checking on supplies for her apartment, getting her place in order for the next week, watching a movie or going to a show, and having dinner before going home. I loved the time with my mom, but I was exhausted by the end of the weekend. After she died, I had a hard time figuring out my Sundays. Then one Sunday I had brunch with friends. I remembered the luxury of sleeping in, meeting for eggs and biscuits, and lingering over that final cup of coffee.
Lately I’d been feeling blue again on Sundays. The luxury of a “free” day seemed to be amplifying the freedom single people have: I could do anything. And so sometimes I did nothing, only to feel let down by frittering away my time. I started to plan outings for my Sunday afternoons. A movie, a play, a museum. All the things I loved, things easy to do on my own, and things that would get me out of my own head and return me home refreshed. That was a successful Sunday, a joy.
Winter weekends can be perfect for binge-worthy TV on a comfy sofa with a warm beverage and snacks. They can also be opportunities to explore your neighborhood or city, enjoy a hobby or expand your connection to others. And even if you’ve fallen off the resolution wagon already, get right back on, and as you work on changes for an Improved You, consider a few tweaks for a more joyful You as well.